Photo by Stephen Boyer |
Walk Away
I want to throw it all away.
I want to forget the pain, the anger, and the
resentment.
I want to throw away the empty place in my mind
that should be filled with memories
of things that I had to give up.
I want to have been able to have
laughed at all the funny inside jokes,
sung along with my favorite songs,
and danced with my girlfriends.
I want the lungs I was born with to have worked,
and my new ones to last forever.
I want to throw away the thoughts
that I will never be called mommy,
that I will never help my parents when they are old,
and that the family members to come
will only know me as a face in old pictures.
I want to be the one that grows old with my husband.
I want to throw it all away.
I want to pretend that I will get gray hair,
have wrinkles, and die old enough
with new memories that the old CF ones are gone.
I am still waiting for the dump truck to come take out
my trash.
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